Time Marches On, But It’s Heavier Than It Looks

As we get older and wiser some would think it all gets easier, when in fact it doesn’t. We raise our children to leave us which can be devastating, but we also have to deal with people we love so deeply leave us. The worst part about that is we can’t protect our babies from that pain. Being a fixer, not being able to protect them destroys me.

Last night I took my kids to see their nana in hospice, which they love her so dearly. The last time they lost someone close to them was when they around 5 and 6 years old. So, this was incredibly heavy for them and me. Even though I am not with their dad anymore, I loved their nana fiercely. Today we got the call that she had passed, and I am so sad for everyone.

I can’t protect my kids from all this pain, I just want to take it all away, but I can’t. As you grow up you realize that this type of stuff is the next phase. The kids grow up and have to start to feel the real depths of life. My girl, who made me a mom, graduates’ high school this week. All hope is she listens to me and remembers to keep her eye on the prize because that’s what nana would want.

As I hear my ex saying I don’t have a mom anymore my heart breaks more, not only for him, but to think that will be me soon. Our kids get older, so do we and so do our parents. I know it’s the circle of life, but a circle has no ending which is what we would like for our loved ones.

So, everyone live everyday like it’s your last because you never know what tomorrow brings. Hugs your family a little tighter and tell them how much they mean to you.